How do I feel? I feel like, once again, I'm screwing it all up. Truth is, I have a lot of emotions in my inside and I just never knew how to deal with them. Truth is, I feel scared in such a way I've never felt before. I love him. I love him like I never loved anyone else before. Losing him would be losing the biggest and most important part of myself. I've always heard the brightest minds are the darkest because they see the whole truth. I've also heard that those who have the most depressive personalities will never be able to change that. They will always be the depressive ones who have constant mood swings. They just can't help it. I'm like that. I'm awkward most of the times. I feel like my brain, somehow, screams most of the time. And I'm the only one who can hear him. I'm an emotion rollercoaster. I'm some kind of volcano, somehow. I might be the most pacific person on the planet, untill I lose it and, accidentally, crash everything that surrounds me. I also feel like an atomic bomb sometimes. I'm always scared of blowing up and leaving a whole mess behind me. Everything I touch, slowly turns dark and evil. It's been like that my whole life. I've tried to hold it back with all my strenght, but I seem unable to do such thing. I am really sorry, I trully am. I wanna cry, so I could ease the pain but, apperantly, I'm dry. That boy... He's my everything. He's the only one I can trust everything to. I just can't lose him. I wouldn't handle it... I love him with my heart and soul. I just hope, and I will ask every single sparkling star, that I won't screw this up. I love him.
